Life and Stuff

We’ve been best friends for over 18 years.  We’ve shared so many things.  Good times, bad times, crazy times, and we’ve always backed each other up.  We talked about things that we would never discuss with another human being.  But, I never saw her cry.  You see, my best friend comes from a strong culture, where a lot of emotion is kept hidden.  I would love to tell her that even though I know she cares, her lack of emotion tends to feel cold and stand offish.  I’m sure she would be hurt and I’m certainly not going to change her, but It makes me feel vulnerable when I get choked up and she just stares blankly.  The deepest thoughts she shared have come in the form of thank you notes for things I’ve done for her.  Do you think that you could continue with this kind of relationship?

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As a teenager, I never dated much.  I considered myself sort of plain, and never had the guts to approach anyone.   All of that changed when I turned seventeen.  I had a job as a cashier at a local supermarket and there was a gang of kids I’d hang out with.  There was also a very  handsome cop, who would always engage me in conversation.  At the urging of the “gang” I decided to act on impulse.  One of the older supervisors told me that this guy really liked me and that I should visit him at the station one day so that he’d know I was interested.  I gathered all my courage and walked into the old fashioned station house.  I gazed up at the huge oak desk and meekly asked if Robbie was available.  He came out from the back and looked at me like I was nuts.  I told him I just stopped in to say hi, and basically ran out the door.  Three days later, I forced myself to explain to him that “Suzy” had put me up to it.  He was even more confused.  I almost died when I found out that he had been having an affair with her for 3 years.  I was simply the butt of her cruel joke.   It took a while, but I’m still glad I took the chance.

I awaken and realize that I’m on some sort of tropical island.  A balmy breeze surrounds me and the glow of the sun keeps me warm.  I read a note, unsigned, that tells me I will spend the rest of my days here on the island, and that all my needs will be provided for.  A “room service” style menu is provided for me, and upon reading the fine print, I discover that I must choose three things to eat, every day for the rest of my life.  I ponder my choices thoughtfully and decide.  I check off the box that says “Pizza”  I could easily eat Pizza for the rest of my life.  My next choice is not as easy, yet I decide on ice cream..dairy, protein and a touch of sweetness seem like a good choice.  My final choice is hot dogs.  During the summer I practically live on them, so I figure it would work.  I submit my list and await my delivery.  Then, the doubt sets in…

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I appreciate Art.  Not so much in the traditional sense, but I manage to find the beauty in almost anything.  I also appreciate nature.  When I was a child, I’d go for long rides to look at the fall foliage.  I’d make fun of my mother when she would “ooh” and “ahh” over the colors of the leaves.  Now that I’m older, I really appreciate the palette of colors the changing seasons bring.  The one piece of art, created in nature, that stands above all others in my mind is the ocean.  I easily spend hours staring into the clear blue water, watching the waves hit the rocks, the crashing white foam, the patterns that form in the sand.  I search for shells, watch the glimmer of the sun on the surface and dream of places far, far away.  The most spectacular image I’ve ever seen, is without doubt, the ocean.